Sleeping Beauty, Alanna Style!
by Meiko M
Summary: I've taken the cast from Song of the Lioness and put them into the story of sleeping beauty! Meant to be a parody and humourous. AG, JT


Sleeping Beauty, SotL Style!

Okay this is basically just an excuse to rid myself of boredom. I'll be updating spontaneously, whenever I have time to sit down and write. This is supposed to be used for humor/entertainment, so please do not flame me if there's something out of context. Other then that, R&R please!

Summary: short and simple. I've taken the SotL cast and put them in: sleeping beauty!

----Cast (random)----

Aurora: Alanna

Baby Aurora: Faithful

Narrator/technician: Myles

King Stephan (aurora's father): Jon

Queen Stephanie (okay I don't know the actual name): Thayet

King Hubert: Liam

Flora: Gary

Fauna: Raoul

Merry weather: Buri

Maleficent: Thom

Maleficent Raven: Alex

Prince Phillip's horse: Roger

And finally! Prince Phillip: George, of course!

You all know the story, so what's the point in delay? Let's get started.

Disclaimer: I do not own Sleeping Beauty or any of Tamora Pierce's ideas/characters.

_Act One: Aurora's birth and beginnings_

Jon (King Stephan): (walks in grumpily with a plastic scepter) Why am I the king? I wanted to be the prince...

Director: You're the king because you're The King ™ ! What better explanation do you need then that? Now stop complaining, at least you get to be with Thayet!

Thayet (Queen Stephanie): (blushes) I don't mind being the Queen, so you shouldn't mind being King, Jonathon. Just go along with it for now.

Jon : (sighs) fine. But I want to be the main guy character in the next story!

Director: Fine, fine, in the next story you shall be!

Jon : (referring to scepter) And why is this made of plastic? There's a real one in the treasury made of silver and sapphires!

Director: Can you listen to Thayet? Just go along with it! I can't be held accountable if anything happens to it! Can we just get this started?

Jon: Fine!

Myles (Narrator): Once upon a time, in a land far away, there was a king and his queen...

(Jon and Thayet walk onto the stage, holding hands and smiling)

Myles (Narrator): Now these two were deeply in love. One day, the queen had a child, and they named this child Aurora, for the sun that shone brightly that day. The entire kingdom rejoiced and was happy. (pushes a button and corny "hoorays" are heard)

(A carriage is pushed onto the stage with faithful wearing a bonnet looking disgruntled, as Thayet (queen) and Jon (king) smile and look lovingly down on him)

Myles (N): Now, during the presentation of young aurora, many important people and entities were invited to come and bestow their blessings. Among them were the three good fairies, Flora, Fauna, and Merry Weather.

(Raoul and Gary enter, dressed in fake wings and pink and green dresses looking annoyed, followed by Buri wearing a blue dress and her own set of fake wings)

Myles (N): (looks at them and stifles a laugh) Now, these fairies had come for the most important blessings that were to be given to young Aurora, and they bestowed them with... (looks at paper he's reading incredulously) with haste? I never would say something of that sort.

Director: It doesn't matter what you would say because your not playing yourself! You're the narrator! Just read it!

Myles (N): (raises an eyebrow but reads the rest anyway) They bestowed their gifts with haste.

Raoul (Fl.): Why am I a fairy! I'm a respectable knight in the King's Own! I should be playing a valiant warrior, or a male at the very  
least! I didn't even want to be in this play in the first place!

Gary (Fa): Here, here! The Prime Minister doesn't wear dresses!

Buri (M.W): Be quiet you both! How do you think Alanna felt when she dressed as a boy? You can learn to be humble too!

Gary (Fa): We both know that Alanna can best us in many things! This is just another one!

Raoul (Fl.): Besides, you're a girl! You're at least somewhat accustomed to wearing these things! (indicates to the dress)

Buri (M.W): (glares dangerously at Raoul) Are you saying that I should be wearing a dress such as this more!

Director: Stop, stop! Buri, Raoul isn't the brightest—

Raoul: HEY!

Director: --And he just assumes girls feel fine wearing dresses! He meant no offense! And Raoul, Gary, are you telling me you're afraid to continue the play, dressed as fairies?

Both Raoul and Gary: Afraid! We're never afraid to do something as simple as that!

Gary: C'mon Raoul! We'll show her we'll be the best fairies who've ever graced the STAGE!

Director: Finally! Now, lets start with you three bestowing your gifts! Myles, if you please!

Myles: (for the third time) They bestowed their gifts with haste.

Raoul (Fl): I am the good fairy Fauna—

Gary (Fa): You're Flora, I'm Fauna!

Raoul (Fl): I am the good fairy Flora, and I will bestow you the gift of beauty! (throws glitter onto Faithful, who yowls in protest)

Thayet (Q. S): (hiding a smirk) ...I don't think Aurora wanted the gift of beauty...

Jon (K.S): I don't think Aurora was a cat...

Director: Stop that! We couldn't find anyone else suitable and small enough to play Aurora! And Faithful, stop yowling! Gary, you're up!

Gary (Fa): (jumps up to the carriage in large leaps, as everyone raises an eyebrow)

Director: What are you doing!

Gary (Fa): (looks indignant) I'm flying to make it more believable, what else?

(Everybody stares, pausing)

Director: Just, bestow you're gift!

Gary (Fa): Sweet cat-er, child, I, the good fairy Fauna, bestow you with the gift of song! (throws glitter on Faithful, who starts to hiss)

Buri (M.W): (walks up to carriage) And I am the good fairy Buritam—

Director: No Buri! You're Merry Weather!

Buri (M.W): (looks at Director with hand on a dagger around waist, that nobody notices until then) Merry Weather, and I bestow you with the gift of—

(loud bang interrupts her, as Thom as Maleficent appears in a cloud of amethyst smoke)

Thom (Mal): (looks annoyed) This is a waste of time. I could be working on a spell for the library of the Masters. Why do I have to be in this play?

Jon: Those are good questions Thom. Here's a better one! Why are you alive?

Thom (Mal): Don't ask me, ask her! (points at director)

Director: OBVIOUSLY, because I can't bring Roger back AND give him his powers, or else Alanna would kill him, then kill me for having to kill him again, and you're the only other one who can use their sorcery to do maleficent's smoke right!

Thom: (irritated, he cleans his fingernails with a dagger) Can't you get Si-cham or some other Master?

Director: (narrows eyes) Can you imagine Si-cham wearing Maleficent's gown? Do you want to imagine Si-cham wearing Maleficent's gown?

Jon: (cringes at the thought) She has a point there...

Raoul: (blinks and smiles with realization) Besides, at least you look similar to Alanna, who is a girl, and therefore it's more believable!

(Everybody stares at Raoul, but knows that its somewhat true)

Thom: (sigh) Lets just get on with it.

Myles (N): However, as the third fairy came up to give her blessing, she was interrupted by the evil witch, Maleficent, who was angered at being denied the invitation to Aurora's presentation to the kingdom.

Thayet: ...shouldn't he have said that before Buri walked up to Faithful?

Director: (realization hits) Yes, he should have. (turns to look) Myles... (sees Myles making lovey eyes and holding hands with George's mother, the once Mistress Cooper and now Baroness of Olau) (sighs) Myles! Read the narrations at the right times! Anyway, can we _please_ continue? This is taking far to long!

Thom (Mal): You dare not to invite me? But Queen Stephanie, King Stephan, despite your ignorance, I have a gift for young Aurora! On the night of her sixteenth birthday, she shall.. (reads lines) "prick her finger on a spinning wheel and die"? Ha! Like something that simple would kill Alanna!

Raoul: (angered) I most certainly agree! Alanna would never die from something that stupid! (this arises more angry shouts from Alanna's various friends)

((((AN: at this point, if you don't remember who's playing who, refer to the top of the chapter. It gets to be a hindrance if you type who they are every time, even if it's abbreviated))))

Director: I REALIZE that ALANNA would not die from that, but AURORA, who is NOT Alanna would! We're not acting out what Alanna would die from! We're acting out Sleeping Beauty!

Raoul: ...oh yeah.

Director: (rests head in hand with eyes closed) can we continue this? (seeing a nod from everyone, continues) okay, Thom, please carry on.

Thom: On the night of her sixteenth birthday— wait, Alanna's twenty-four, how are you pulling this off? (sees a glare from Director) ... never mind – she shall prick her finger on a spinning wheel and die! MWAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAAAH!

Everyone: (stares)

Buri: (whispers to Gary) He did that to well...

Gary: (nods, wide-eyed)

Thayet: (blinks, then realizes its her line) Noooo! Not Aurora! (weeps)

Jon: (hugs Thayet closely) (raises angry eyes to Thom) How dare you?

Thom: (smirks) This is what you get when you anger MALIFICENT! Now, I suggest from now on, you try to stay out of my way! MWAHAHAHAHAHAH! (vanishes in a puff of violet smoke)

Thayet: (rushes to Buri) Oh please Merry-Weather! Is there anything you can do to reverse the curse?

Buri: (looks at Thayet with alarm, then remembers she is acting) I may not be able to reverse it, but I can give you your second most powerful weapon: hope. (walks to Faithful) Sweet princess... if through this wicked witch's trick, a spindle should your finger prick... a ray of hope there still may be in this, the gift I give to thee. Not in death, but just in sleep, this fateful prophecy you'll keep. And from this slumber you shall wake, when true love's kiss, the spell shall break. (throws more glitter onto faithful, who is starting to look like a glamour cat)

Raoul: (blinks, staring open-mouthed at Buri)

Gary: (looks at him) in other words, she won't die if she gets pricked with a spindle. She'll just fall asleep 'till George-erm, I mean her true love comes and kisses her.

Raoul: I understand what Bur- Merry weather said just fine! And stick to the script will you?

Gary: (snickers)

Liam (King Hubert): (rushes in with an air of impatience) I'm here now, Stephan! What did I miss?

Jon: (turns slowly to Liam with an incredulous look on his face)...

Gary: Allow me, m'lord? (with a nod from Jon) Weeelly well, Merry-Weather, Fauna and I got here, Fauna and I gave the ca- the child our gifts, Maleficent came and gave her a curse that said when she turns sixteen she's going to prick her finger on a spinning wheel's spindle and die, then M.W—

Buri: (glares at the abbreviation of her name)

Gary: —gave her a gift that made it so that she falls asleep instead of dies, and will awaken with a kiss from her true love. (takes a breath)

Liam: ...wow. (coughs) Well then, I suppose you'll not be wanting to join our kingdoms together through marriage, are ya?

Jon: (glaring) Of course I still want to! Are you mad? The arranged marriage will happen as planned! Where is young Prince Phillip?

Liam: (blandly) At home. He said he has a stomach flu. I doubt that, but young boys can be quite irritating when it comes to persistence.

Jon: I see. Well, then we'll see that the curse never follows through, and then Aurora and Phillip will be brought together in matrimony and our kingdoms shall unite! (this arises a cheer from everybody, as celebrations start and drinks are passed all around)

Raoul, Gary and Buri: (all pull Jon and Thayet aside)

Gary: Merry-Weather's spell will carry through, but if you want to ensure Alanna's, (sighs) Aurora's safety until then, we suggest that you hide her, by means of sending her as far away from yourselves as possible.

Thayet: (shocked) But how can I—how can we part from our darling child that soon? She was just born a month ago!

Raoul: (pats her hand) My dear queen, I will personally see to it that she's taken care of. We, Fauna Merry-Weather and I, will take the baby with us deep into the forest and raise her as our own, claiming we are her aunts. She will never be told of her true self until the day of her sixteenth birthday.

Jon: (looks desperate) Well, if that will keep her safe... and you're sure you can hide her from Maleficent...

Buri: We are sure, my King. (glances at Raoul and Gary) And I'll be sure myself that these two won't mess it up.

Jon: (sighs, walks over to "Aurora's" cradle, and picks up a squirming/wrapped up Faithful) Well then. We must take your words for it. Be sure to send us updates on how she is doing... if possible. And if there is anything you need, please send word.

Raoul: We shall, m'lord. (watches as Thayet kisses Faithful on the head before handing Faithful to him) Now, we best be off! (they, erm, "fly" away, Gary leaping, Raoul and Buri walking briskly)

Myles: (hiccupping) And so, the three (hic) cats flew off (hic) into the night, cradling the (hic) knight in their (hic) arms!

Director: ... .. ...

(Baroness of Olau, George's mom walks in)

B.O.O, G's M: Forgive him... he likes to drink as you well know... He'll be out the rest of the play. (disappears, half dragging a drunk Myles with her)

Director: Lets just end the scene there...

END CH. ONE

Authors note: Okay I'm well aware that I don't have many people in character. Raoul, for example, is never that absent-minded in any of Pierce's books. But, to make this somewhat entertaining, and a parody, there are certain changes that I have to make. Other then that, I hope you enjoyed the first part of the fiction! Please review; the more reviews, the more I'm inspired, the faster I update!


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